A Marriage Made in Heaven

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Irish Coleen and her handsome fiancé Pat, who were travelling home from a dance one night when disaster struck. Their car was involved in an accident, and they were killed and taken to heaven.
St Patrick (patron of Ireland) was at the gate to meet them with St Peter.
'Welcome to Heaven,' said St Peter.
'Yes, but,' said Coleen, ''Tis most unfair. My Pat and I were to be married, and we are so much in love, and we've been taken before tasting the joys of wedded life. Can we be married in heaven?'
St Patrick looked at St Peter. 'There is no giving or taking in marriage in heaven,' said Patrick.
'That's true,' said St Peter. 'But this could be a special case. Why don't you young folk go on and make an appointment with God and ask Him?'
So the young couple made an appointment to see God who was sympathetic to their pleas.
'I'll see what I can do, and consult with the heavenly hosts,' He said. 'It's most irregular, but we might be able to arrange something. Come back in 50 years.'
Well in heaven fifty years goes by fairly rapidly, so it seemed no time at all before the young couple were back to see what God had to tell them.
'I'm working on this,' said God kindly. 'It's not easy. But come back in fifty years, and I am sure we can organise something.'
So the young couple went away, and fifty years went by fast, what with the harp playing and the cloud-leaping and singing of praises. So back they went to God, who greeted them with a smile.
'We can do it! Be at the Blessed Grotto on Saturday afternoon at 2, and you can be married!'

So they rolled up and there was a priest and all the angels and souls of the good to celebrate the first marriage Heaven had ever seen.
So the young couple went off and began to enjoy the bliss of wedded life. Unfortunately, the novelty wore off after a while, and they began to realise that possibly they had made a very bad mistake. They talked matters over (in between the arguments and the fighting), and decided to ask God if they could have a divorce.
So back they went to the Heavenly throne, feeling a bit ashamed.

'Not you two again. What do you want?' asked God.
'Well, Lord, this marriage of ours isn't working, and we want to see if we can arrange a divorce ... er, please?' said Pat.
'Is that what you want?' God asked Coleen.
'Yes, Lord,' she agreed.
God threw his hands into the air. 'You don't know what you are asking! It's against all the rules!'
'Yes, but --' began Coleen and Pat.
'You don't understand,' God continued with exasperation. 'It took a hundred years to get a clergyman into heaven, but I can tell you now we will NEVER get a lawyer!'